Friday, March 6, 2009

What do you think's wrong with you?

Back pain.
It's just no fun. Thankfully about a year ago I had a week of some severe back pain, something I had never really experienced before. And for a generally unsympathetic person having at least experienced similar pain makes one slightly more understanding.

So after crashing into the house after hockey on Tuesday night and then taking about an hour in the morning to wiggle out of bed and crawl to the bathroom, Clayton begged me to please get the phone so he could call the fire chief/EMT. And that's where the the thankfully part comes in... since I had experience some back pain I decided to do as he asked instead of bend over and whisper in his ear "stop being such a big baby." Because poor Clayton was in severe pain and couldn't stand up and yet was still too embarrassed to call an ambulance. So the fire chief arrived and then HE called in for an ambulance!
So Clayton arrives via ambulance at the hospital, is lifted from the stretcher to a bed and after a bit of a wait is seen by Dr. So What Do You Think Is Wrong With You? Who examines Clayton and then proceeds to ask... well what do you think is wrong with you?

Just taking a wild guess here... but I am presuming it might possibly be something to do with my back? Or maybe I ate breakfast too fast and got a bit of indigestion and then decided that it would be fun to take a ride in the ambulance to the hospital so I could have this little conversation with you! Got any tums? That should do the trick! And I don't think I'm even stretching it too far to say... if this HAD been the conversation the Doc would have rubbed his chin and then slowly shifted his glasses and then mumbled, "Indigestion hey... um... yes... I do think we could find some... now what was it you said... tums... yes tums."
Okay maybe not quite...
Nah I take that back... it surely, could have believable went down like that.

But instead Clayton went with the back pain scenario.
Which got us this response...
"Um... yes I see... back pain... yes... hockey... yes... well how about we get you some pain killers... I'll get the nurse to bring in some pain killers and then you can probably be on your way."
Which really makes one want to mention in a heightened voice... did you not notice that your patient arrived via ambulance, is in the emergency bed and cannot move at the moment???!!! He didn't just feel too lazy to start the car this morning and decided it would be fun to call in for an ambulance ride instead! I am pretty certain he WILL NOT be ON HIS WAY anytime soon.

But instead Clayton says, "Well Doc, the thing is I can't really walk at the moment."
To which Doc replies, "Um... Oh... I see... so you're telling me... you want to say in the hospital then... um?"
Now want doesn't seem to be exactly the correct wording to use in a situation such as this but at least the Doc was no longer trying to send us back out the door.

Now that was on Wednesday morning and it is now Friday and Clayton is still staying at the Hotel a la Hospital. Apparently Clayton isn't quite on his way yet.

But finally after a day of no one really doing anything, the Doc comes back in the next morning to check on Clayton... and after Clayton's suggestions says...
"Um... yeah... physio hey... yeah that is probably a good idea... yeah um... I'll check into that... um... yeah... pyhsio."

So when I arrive for my lunch visit on Thursday the physio lady is in the room finishing up her work with Clayton.
And she says to me, "Hi I'm Estelle, I work HERE, NOT at Mark's Work Wear House."
I say hi and laugh because she is smiling and weird people make me uncomfortable and when I'm uncomfortable I laugh. What do I care that you don't work at Mark's... you loony!
And then Clayton laughs and says, "Don't you remember that time at Mark's when you asked that lady, who you thought was a sales associate, for help and it turned out she was actually a customer and I was laughing at you from behind the coat rack because I knew the lady, as she was from town? Well this is the lady... and she remembers you doing that! Although, obviously, at the time she didn't know who you were."
Hahaha... we all laugh.

And when she leaves I punch Clayton in the back because he must be feeling better... bringing up embarrassing things about his wife like that.

Oh come on... he deserved it. ;) ;) ;)

Of course I'm just kidding... I would never do a thing like that... although I did tickle him because he was having so much FUN laughing. I was just trying to be sweet and let him continue his enjoyment... apparently people with back pain don't like to be tickled! Who knew?

Anyhow... I really hope you get better soon... I have no one to warm up my feet on when I go to bed... and let me tell you it sucks! ;)
I know... you all feel real sorry for me.


Deenna said...

Ahhh...poor Clayton (and Kimberly having no one to warm her feet)...we've all dealt with Dr. So-What-Do-You-Think-Is Wrong-With You? LOL

Feel better soon, Clayton!

Shannon said...

haha! I totally know which doctor this is, and you captured him correctly!

Ron said...

What kind of drugs did he score?
Sent my sympathies .

Anonymous said...

Mom said...
Careful Kimberly....ya' don't want to take on the doctors! Though it be frustrating!
Poor Kimberly with the cold feet.... don't stick them in the middle of Clayton's back now that he's back home. Unless the doctor said to apply cold!
What a sympathetic wife, eh Clayton?
Hope you're feeling better soon Clayton... we were looking forward to playing hockey when we came out (just kidding!)
Love Mom :) & Dad

Christine Nelson said...

"Weird people make me uncomfortable..." <-- this made me laugh out loud!

Hope Clayton's feeling better!