Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Because that comment was way too long to not utilize as an actual blog post!

The following is in response to the comments from 'When life gives you Lemons' post:

Vanessa, that gave me the giggles, just thinking about what the 'banana buying family' would have thought, if I had, after that amount of screaming just reached back and broke off a banana and shoved it in that wide open cavern, without saying a word. 

Allise, you got me thinking... That was totally me. I was always packed to the nines with food and snacks whenever I went out with Shayla and Tristan. If Clayton ever took them by himself, I'd be like 'aren't you bringing snacks' and he'd grab 2 granola bars! And I'd think... that's all you're taking... that's just wanting to get burned!!! So, one would think, with 4 kids I would really rather set myself up for more chances of success... and sometimes I do. But for those other times I don't, which seem to be more often lately, I am now wondering why. 
After giving it some thought, this is what I've come up with:
(I'll number them as trips... for no real reason other then I like making lists!)

Trip 1. They already ate it all. Those children are like a pack of wild dogs, as soon as they get in the car, the food... the more desirable food, the food I took time to prepare for this particular journey, not the mangled costco granola bars in the bottom of the diaper bag... is gone and we are only 10 minutes in to our trip. 

Trip 2. Last time they ate it in the first 10 minutes and it took me an hour to wash, cut and put that crap in to individual, easy to distribute containers (ie. containers that can be hucked to the back row of the Suburban and stay shut but yet can easily be opened by children), this time they can suck it up and eat some rock hard granola bars. That way we may actually get out of this house before noon... maybe.

Trip 3. So ya, last time they chipped away at those granola bars, sure there was some complaining... but the amount of time it took to eat those things made it well worth it. Crap, I thought there were granola bars in here, guess they all got eaten last trip. Oops!

Trip 4. Ok, I admit last time was pretty loud with the hangry crying but I couldn't even hear the complaining from the back row over the racket coming from the middle and then some gave up and some fell asleep and all was quiet. And I didn't even have to pack a bag with me! Should I dare try it again?! It means I could leave the house right now.... Ya ya I' m going for it.

A future trip...
Trip 5. Shopping. Got the 4 kids in the cart and we are gettin 'er done. 
'Excuse me, Miss, your daughter lost her shoe back there.' 
'PARDON? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SCREAMING!' 
'YOUR DAUGHTER'S SHOE, here...'  
'Thanks, but don't come to close, my son has a poop in his diaper and it's a gagger.' 
'There is a change table in that washroom over there, I just used it to changed my little ones diaper.' 
'Thanks... but ya I don't have a diaper bag with me.' 
'Pardon?!' 

'Ya we just do that stuff at home, you know the eating and the changing.' 
'Oh, so you live close by?' 
'Well not real close, only about 45 minutes away.' 
'Lady! What's wrong with you?!!!!' 
'Oh sorry, I thought it was obvious... I have 4 child syndrome!'


Haha! Hopefully this is NOT actually me one day. But ya never know I guess!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Rock hard Costco granola bars are the best!! When the kids know that only remaining snack is the smushed granola bar from the bottom of the diaper bag they usually stop screaming and complaining. All goes silent because they know they have lost. I find it very very effective!!
~Megan
p.s. I still get a little worried when Jared leaves the house with children and no drink or food. I usually try to sneak in a water bottle bc I KNOW someone will be thirsty in just a few minutes ;) They just don't get it...

Kimberly said...

Glad to hear the Costco granola bar is a staple back up in other people's homes too!
Here's another example of my 4 child syndrome:
There was a commercial on TV the other day that was advertising a stain remover and the 'supposed you tube clip' was of a Mom who commented that she was a busy Mom of two. And Clayton says, 'Two! Try four! They should have upped the number of kids for that commercial.'
My reply: 'But then Clayton it really wouldn't have been believable because a busy Mom of four, well you know she ain't really using stain remover.' And then Jax walked by in a stain ladened shirt to prove my point.'

Vanessa said...

Hahaha! Well put. Although i feel sheepish... being a not so busy mother of one, amelia walks around with stains on many of her clothes... and so do I. oops, guess that's just standards and laziness!