Wednesday, January 25, 2017

An optimist or just plain delusional?

Every time I plan on doing something with my kiddos I always picture it in my head as a super fun and enjoyable activity. Or at the very least; going smoothly.
Every time!
Even if I have done the activity before and it went considerable less than smoothly.
Every time!
Even if it is grocery shopping.
(And everyone and their dog knows that grocery shopping with children is never a pleasant or enjoyable activity. Yet every time I go, I think about how relaxed and mellow I am going to be this time and how the kids will be hypnotized by some miracle by my soothing behaviour and follow me around the store like well trained puppies. And after we will stop by a trendy cafe and enjoy a mug of hot chocolate and everyone will be so thankful for their hot chocolate and not even mention the idea of getting or doing anything else. And it will be wonderful, enjoyable, fantastic even... it will be just like a shopping trip taken with other adults or by yourself. *sigh)
Every time!
Even though I should know better.
I should know better!
I went for a hike in Elkwater by myself with all the kids a couple of summers ago. In my head it was going to be wonderful, peaceful; a lovely hike through the trees with my four sweethearts, listening to the birds sing and stopping to check out all of nature's wonder whenever anyone wanted to stop because I wasn't going to be on a schedule.
No you don't. Because it was horrible, terrible, possibly the worst hiking experience of my life. Defiantly not blog worthy. So terrible, it wasn't even funny... until now, two years later, I can laugh about parts of it! There was one moment where the kids climbed around on a big rock for awhile and I sat as far as I could from them but like the responsible adult I am still in their line of sight and cried plugged my ears because Mya was still having an extremely loud temper tantrum on the ground by the rock.

Three of the kids seemed to enjoy climbing on that rock. 3 out of 5 ain't bad.

Otherwise most of the hike was spent listening to the older two complain about how long, hard, steep or boring the hike was, while the younger two just took turns crying or screaming together in unison. I spent the whole time pushing or pulling my empty or half empty double stroller up a narrow and bumpy trail... as well as carrying, whichever twin had kicked and wiggled themselves right out of the buckle, on one hip. Because neither of them wanted to ride in the stroller or walk apparently! Why do 1 and 2 year olds not want to ride in a stroller but you can't keep 4 and 5 year olds out of one?! Why does life have to be like that?!!! Why?!!! Oh right because... what's that saying again... life's a bitch! ;) At one point we started running to keep ahead of Mya because if she didn't catch up to us, at least she would stumble along behind screaming and crying but at least moving under her own power and not laying on the ground having her temper tantrum. Ok... so now I can chuckle about that. Just picturing myself running along, probably carrying Jax in one arm and pushing the empty and very awkward double jogging stroller with the other hand, with a bright red, tear streaked face from utter emotional and physical exhaustion and shouting at Shayla and Tristan to keep running so that toddler won't catch us. If we had actually seen anyone else on that trail what would they have even thought?! Actually who cares what they would have thought, if we had actually seen another human that day I would have handed them 4 children and taken off into the bush! Thankfully we never saw a soul!
Anyhow, glad that hike is now just a memory even if not such a distance one!

I started writing this post a couple of days ago after a very whinny and stressful trip to the city for a movie and shopping with just myself and the kids. So I cannot even remember where I was heading with this post. Was it suppose to end in an extremely negative... activities with kids just plain suck and that is all there is too it... kind of a fashion?! Possibly.

Thankfully today... because of my optimistic delusional attitude... I went for a walk with the kids. We packed hot chocolate and lunch and had planned to walk across town to visit Great Grandma and stop and play at any playground we saw. Just as we were heading out the door the phone rang, it was my sister. I told her I had to run as we were heading out on this adventure and she was like 'what, you are walking to Clayton's Grandma's with 5 children 5 and under? That is really far and it is cold, are you crazy?!' 
I did hesitate for one moment and think about this blog post I was in the middle of writing... was I really that delusion? Would this walk really turn into the walk from hell?!
Then I shook my stubborn head no! Of course it would be wonderful, exciting and fun! Right?!
And it turned out this time it was!
And maybe that's the catch; sometimes these adventure do turn out ok. And then I only remember the good ones. (Except, of course, that terrible, horrible Elkwater hike... you remember that one right?! ;)

Or maybe it was because this time I really did let go of the schedule and we never made it to Great Grandma's or even into town. We stopped and slid in the ditch in front of our house for a quite a while and then spent a long time playing under the little bridge at the end of our road. Sliding and climbing around the snowy creek/ditch bed was super fun and a real adventure. We ended up having a picnic lunch there and popped into the school playground for a few minutes and then headed home. We were gone for 3 hours and got maybe half a kilometre from our house and had a wonderful, exciting and fun time! That has got to be the key: NO SCHEDULE!
That and all the children and parents must be in happy, perfect moods!!! :)

So saying that... expect another wonderful adventure to come around again sometimes next year!!! ;)

So there you have it, the secret to a fun and wonderful adventure: don't go no schedule and good moods!!! Easy as 1, 2, 3! HAHAHAHA!!!


Anonymous said...

Kimberly! You are so wonderful! My kids can not wait to come back to your house, and keep asking me when it is. They always have a wonderful time where they feel loved and secure-- as well as the crazy fun you create for them-- and that means such a great deal to them, as well as their parents whom are so appreciative of your loving kindness. Whether your own kids, or someone else's, you are doing an amazing job!!

Anonymous said...

I agree with Megan.... You are doing a wonderful job Kimberly. Creating memories (the more positive ones likely) probably do work best on "no schedule". Those not-so- wonderful memories make the wonderful ones even better!
I remember talking to Tristan a few days ago and he was telling me about a fun walk, it being icy and sliding in the ditch by the little bridge. He had so much fun!!! That sounds like the same day! Tristan said, "We were going to walk to Great Gramma's but never got there and it was so much fun."
Love and hugs to all you wonderful "kids"! XOXO from the farm folks :)

Kimberly said...

Thank you both.
I guess we (us parents) are all trying our best and doing wonderful jobs... I think it's just hard sometimes, because of all the expectations you had of yourself before you became a parent and then that first little bundle of joy arrives and all your plans and perfect parenting fly out the window! Although I am 4 kids in... I must have come to terms with that by now!

Maybe it's just the temper tantrums!!!! I think my brain is on crying overload... as soon as I hear the start of a sob all I can think about is (me or them) vacating the premise immediately. But then again I have listened to enough crying and screaming to last two life times! ;) So I'll just be thankful my brain is still on overload and not completely fried! Hahaha! :)

Allise said...

Thank you for the chuckle! I'm so grateful you not only share these parenting experiences but you tell them in such a way I often find myself laughing, crying or just nodding in agreement at the screen. You ARE doing a wonderful job! I often think if I could have half the patience you do I'd have it made. I love this post. And I can relate a lot to it as well. I often find myself doing activities or planning to do them and the other adults in the house will say "don't you remember the last time?!" Maybe all the crying, whining, pulling, begging etc blocks out all the memories of the crying, whining, pulling, begging etc? Or maybe we're just hopeful and optimistically crazy 😉❤️

Kimberly said...

Thank you Allise! It is always so nice to hear I am not alone in things!!!
Love reading all the comments!
Kimberly :)

Amber said...

That picnic by the bridge may be my children's favourite memory... at least from this winter. They LOVED how the day turned out :)

The not-so-good adventures around are usually the ones I have unrealistic expectations for, while the more successful ones just happen. As much as you like to have a plan, your ability to adapt to the day makes for a lot of happy memories.

Vanessa said...

As the Zerby's say "try try again!"... (Amelia likes to quote TV programs and this is a good one... guess she is learning something from the boob toob ;)
Anyway, maybe its that try try again attitude that keeps us 'delusional'... we are told we've got to keep trying and never give up or quit. We have these totally awesome memories from our own childhoods, that we want to bestow on our own kiddos... fun fun fun.... so try try again until it works out the way we think it should ;) Its fun to call it delusional, but its wonderful that just because so many times the supposed-fun activity is hard, not what we wanted or down right terrible... you have to keep trying and getting out there so that you can create that awesome memory that your kids will remember forever... and go thru hell trying to recreate for their own kids! haha and the cycle continues!!!
So keep sharing, because we have to inspire each other to keep trying. Fun and happiness is the goal when you are a kid.... also getting everything you want ;)